No this is not about sleep deprivation, although that's what most people would expect. Instead I want to write about my observations on how babies sleep.
I find it really interesting that Matthew and Renee sleep completely differently. They both have the same bedtime routine, are fed the same during the day, have the same sleep environment, are swaddled, all the things that the "experts" and books say contribute to a baby sleeping well. But here's the reality - Matthew sleeps very well and Renee doesn't. Matthew falls asleep easily at nights sometime around 9 and usually sleeps until 5 or 6 am in his crib (please, I hope I'm, not jinxing myself by writting it down). We did nothing to encourage or train him - it just happened. Renee has a very hard time falling asleep and wakes up at the slightest noise all night, she wakes up so often we started co-sleeping so I could get some rest. We like co-sleeping and did it with Samuel, and I'd do it with Mathew too but I can't figure out how and really, I don't want to disturb what he had going right now.
Naps are a whole other thing - Renee falls asleep easily in the car seat, or the swing. Matthew doesn't and will often cry a horrible cry before falling asleep.
This makes me think that temperament really does have a huge influence on sleep. It also makes me wonder, if I only had one baby (vs two to have a comparison) and I wanted to change their sleep pattern, how much of an uphill battle would I face given their temperament? Could Matthew be a better napper, and what would that do to his nighttime sleep? Could Renee "learn" how to sleep through the night?
As parents, we each make decisions on what we think is best for our kids. But, I often wonder whether "expert" helps or hinders us as parents. Does it set unrealistic expectations? If I co-slept with Matthew would he sleep as well? Or, at the other end of the spectrum, if we let Renee cry it out, would that work for her? Lots of questions, and I have lots of thoughs, but Renee is awake and crying and needs me so I'm off.
TBC tomorrow
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Sil,the answer is usually in the mommy's gut rather than in the books the experts write.I say it again though,you are the only one in our family that could do this and have the capacity to be philosophical,to ponder instead of assume and to balance both your own instincts and the info you find from the professionals.I can't wait for more tomorrow.
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