Dear Stranger on the Street,

(This is a generic letter written to every stranger on the street or in the mall or in my driveway who has stopped me to make inane comments and ask annoying questions)

Please do not ask me if my babies are twins - I don't know of any other circumstance under which I'd have two babies the same age. Please don't ask me if they are boys or girls - one is usually dressed in pink and the other blue. And once you've surmised that they are boy/girl twins do not ask me if they are identical - by definition they are not, aside from what their diapers hide and that I just told you their genders, one has blond hair and the other has brown hair.

Don't comment on their sleep, and if one is sleeping and especially if both are sleeping, don't talk loudly around them. If they happen to be crying, which all babies do, keep your mouth shut. And if you choose to comment, you have some chutzpah telling me why you think my babies are crying. You don't know them, nor do you know when, what or how much they ate, slept or had a dirty diaper. I know my babies better than anyone and I don't always know why they are crying, so why do you think that you can read their mind?

One day, I may loose my patience and inhibitions and start answering your questions by asking you how you sleep, and whether you're about to go to he bathroom.

In short leave me alone, or if you feel very compelled to comment, simply say "congratulations" or "you are blessed" because indeed I am.

Sincerely,

One pissed off mom, who can't stand that her outings are extended, babies are awakened and life is examined by complete strangers

That feels better!